THE NIGHT I PRAYED WOULD NEVER END

Later that morning, I was sitting at the information table outside the administration office. Mother Miriam passed by because she was about to go at the President’s office. Of course, I greeted her just like the usual, “Hi mother”, that’s what I said with a smile in my face. She smiled back and then asked me, “Hanggang anong oras klase mo mamaya?” I answered, “Hanggang 8 po.” “Ay, gabi na, sasama sana kita mamaya sa fellowship namin, eh”, she told me. Without hesitation, I quickly said, “Sige mother!” “O sige”, she replied before she entered the President’s office. “We are going to Malabon!”, sighed me…
I was excited at the same time nervous and shy. I felt glad for the fact that Mother Miriam invited me to come with her despite my candid expression of admiration to her son that may possibly annoyed her or maybe got her turned-off with me.
The clock seemed to be very slow as I waited for the time. I never ate lunch because I don’t feel hungry (despite the truth that I’m a food lover and eats from time to time), I attended classes as I was thinking that it will lessen my waiting time =) and I already informed Ms. Calayag (my Operation and Research subject instructor) that I will not attend her class since it will be our first meeting and I stated her my reason so she allowed me.
At around 5:30pm, I sat down at the bench in front of the Finance Office waiting for Mother Miriam. During that time, I was kinda feeling shy but there’s something that pushes me to go with Mother. At about 6-6:15 we’re about to go. “Yipee!” my mind shouted!!
We rode a jeep to Alabang Metropolis. That first ride, I’m uneasy, speechless... No matter how I think of anything to say just to break the silence, there’s nothing that I could say. Well, I should expect that scenario because the person I’m with is the mother of the one I love..
At Alabang, we rode again at a jeepney going Pasay. We were sitted in front. Mother told me that it will be a 2hours travel. Honestly, I did not inform my mom that I will go home late. I decided to just tell it to her the next morning. Besides, she already had a little knowledge about JC and Mother Miriam. Bad me!! Hehehe…
While in the jeep, we talked about my life, particularly my family. I told Mother the truth about it which I rarely tell to anybody. I normally do not share things in relation to my family. It’s just that I’m confident to tell it to her because I owe her as my real mom.
Time had passed by and so we’re already on our next destination. I didn’t exactly remember where we got down. Next thing I knew is that we will be riding an LRT. It was 19:10pm as I saw it at the station’s clock. Mother had given me a single journey card. The funny thing is that I don’t know how to use it.. hehehe.. I asked mother how, and she was amused to know that it was the first time that I’d be riding the LRT. I was smiling on my mind as I thought that it was one of my dreams-riding the LRT. I’ve waited for so long for that childish dream to come true and the best of it is that I’d be having my first ever LRT experience with my future mother-in-law (in my hopes and prayers)…
Before riding another jeep, Mother bought bread and so we go on. Next stop- few minutes to Lutheran Church- we rode a side car. It was raining and its coldness adds to my nervousness. “Nahihiya po ako Mother”, I said. The fact that we’re almost there, seemed that I wanted to back out.. Haha..
“Open the eyes of my heart Lord… open the eyes of my heart…”, it was JC who sings the opening song.. Hmmm, We’re on time..It was around 8:30..
My heart beats so fast. As I entered the Church, it was JC that I first saw. There are only few people in the fellowship. Like the kind of fellowship we have in my home church- Christian Bible Church- there are songs of praise, the welcoming of the visitor (it was I that was welcomed, siyempre..) games and of course, the sharing of message by the Pastor. The game lead by Nikki, JC’s cousin, and Inez, her sister was charade. It was really fun. Everybody participated.
The Pastor is JC’s dad. Yes, JC is a Pastor’s son.. The bible message was from the book of Jeremiah 6:16-19. It was about the road that God wants us to take and the consequence of not taking the right way.
9:30, the fellowship was finished. Mother told me that she cannot take me to their house anymore because JC and I have to go home. Before we leave, Mother took me at Pastor’s office and there I saw some of their family pictures and Pastor’s painting. “May pinagmanahan pala si JC sa pagpe-paint”, I told mother.
It was raining when we got out. I said goodbye and thanks to everybody. Mother gave me the bread we bought earlier so that we could eat it at the bus. I kissed Mother Miriam as I normally do and then JC and I rode the side car- a signal that we’re going home. We had a little conversation in the side car- all of which was registered in my memory.
Before riding the bus going to Alabang, JC bought a meal at Jollibee because we never had our dinner yet, even Mother Miriam.
In the bus, JC ate his dinner. We talked the usual way that we do- formal but a little unserious- because we never had a serious conversation. It was really cold because the rain was pouring hard. A little while, JC was asleep. Even if I’m also sleepy, my heart is telling me to stay awake: “wag ka matulog, tingnan mo lang siya dahil baka hindi na maulit to”, it says.. And so I did.. I looked at him as he sleeps. Before I realized it, my eyes were teary already. I was crying because I’m happy and at the same time, sad. I looked at the window and wiped my tears as I silently talked to God and thanked Him for JC, for Mother and her kindness. I thanked Him even more for the night, for that very wonderful opportunity that He had given me. How I wished that the night would never end. I told God “Sana si JC yung pina-pagpray ko na guy”.. I was like a child hoping for something that is quite impossible. “It hurts BUT its okay, yes it hurts me AND its okay”, my heart whispered..
We reached Alabang by 12am and I have to go down at South Station. I awaken JC and told him that I’m leaving. He stood up to let me out because I was sitting at the window side and said, “INGAT, ha”. That was a usual manner for everybody to say but for me it sounded so good and so sweet. It was like nobody ever told me those simple two words.
12:30- I’m home with a smile in my face and in my heart…
THAT NIGHT WAS THE LONGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR FOR ME. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT NIGHT OF MY LIFE-- HOW MOTHER MIRIAM TOOK ME LIKE A DAUGHTER, THE LRT EXPERIENCE, THE PEOPLE I MET (PASTOR IBARRA,INEZ, NIKKI, JERUSALEM, PRINCESS, AND ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE FELLOWSHIP), THE BUS RIDE WITH JC, ALL THE THINGS THAT HAD HAPPENED THAT NIGHT-THE WORDS AND EVERY ACTION—ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE KEPT IN MY HEART.
THAT NIGHT TOO, I REALIZED THAT IF I’D LIVE MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE LIKE JC, EVERYDAY WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY. IT WILL NOT BE HARD TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE WILL BE CONTENTED WITH A SIMPLE LIFE, THAT HE WILL BE HAPPY FOR WHATEVER GIVEN TO HIM, THAT HE WILL BY NO MEANS COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING, AND THAT HE WILL BE ABLE TO PROVIDE BECAUSE HE IS HARDWORKING, THAT FAMILY IS A PRIORITY FOR HIM AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THAT GOD IS IN THE CENTER OF HIS LIFE…

Ms. Cyber Babe 2007

the BIDA group...

from left to right:
Cyrus Meriel
James Christopher Laceda
Myself
Earl Bunyi
Danilo Molina

The picture was taken last September 12, 2007. It was the presentation day for the Search for Best BUSINESS IDEA and DEVELOPMENT AWARD or BIDA (that's why we call ourselves BIDA group) herein Muntinlupa.. The next level will be the National Competition.. Well, we're taking that next step... Thank GOD!!!

the lies behind the truth

THE TRUTH:
I don't love him
I never care about him
It is not a problem if I won't see him in a day
I'm not thinking of him
I’m not worried if he’s sick
I'm not hurt whenever he's with someone
I ‘m not even jealous
I'm not insecure to the girls that is close to him
I won't cry for him
I won't miss him if he'll be gone
I won’t be sad if he’s hurt
I won’t be affected if he loves somebody else


THE LIES:
.....ALL

Ouch...

"Big Girls Don't Cry"
by: FERGIE

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]

La Da Da Da Da Da



>>>my favorite song as of the moment.. hehe..iyakin pa naman ako..

preparing myself for the presentation

tomorrow will be the BIDA presentation of the concept paper to 5 panelists... 3 from the Muntinlupa Chamber of Commerce and Industry and 2 from the Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Muntinlupa... dunno what im gonna feel... i pray to have a good night sleep...

after all..

a couple of times, i was giving up because i feel like devastated.. now, im so much happy knowing the fact that i've accomplished the things that i was assigned to do.. the experiences was charged on me.. i feel glad that im now reaping the fruit of my labor....after all....

pretending im alright...

Withholding fears...
Holding back intense emotions...
Covering weaknesses...